कशमकश

नींद में हैं सब यहाँ
सब दिखे पर बेज़ुबान
क्या कशमकश भरा है ये मैदान
ना तू शैतान ना मैं इंसान

जीने की चाह में हैं ज़िंदगियाँ दाँव पर
झूठ के इस धूप तेरा सच खड़ा है पाँव पर
सर झुका के जो खड़ा वो सर कटा तो क्या फ़िक्र
ज़मीर से जो सर फिरा वो सर तेरा है क्यों मगर
क्या कशमकश भरा है ये मैदान
ना तू शैतान ना मैं इंसान

Being Thankful

2 of my friends recently started the process of listing things that they feel grateful for. This is something that in Yoga classes my instructor used to continuously ask us to do as part of a daily exercise. According to her In Yoga there are 4 different 'Bhavas' as listed by the guruji who started this particular Yoga institute . They are

1. Dharma- sense of Duty
2.Jnana - sense of Awareness
3.Vairagya- sense of Detachement/Renunciation
4.Aisvarya- sense of Achievement

The process of expressing gratitude is a 'kriya' according to Yoga which is supposed to be followed on a daily basis by an individual just like the Yogic exercises one needs to do everyday. All the Yogic exercises come under any one of the 4 Bhavas mentioned. The Kriyas all come under the Aisvarya Bhava. This Bhava also means self reliance.

In a nutshell whether Yoga or some other form , this is essentially another practice by the Positive thinking school of thought by looking at the positives rather than the negatives and discarding all negative energy.Easier Said than done though- hence the need of practices like these.

I shall try and emulate my friends but not on a regular basis. Also this is an excellent method to make sure that the blog does not get dysfunctional again :)

In the classroom

Some time ago at a class that i was attending there was this student i met who had a trait I had long back. After the class as we all were having a discussion the said person kept saying the following words " I already know all this". Now my immediate reaction then is to look back at his progress in the class and i realized that he does not apply anything that he claims he knows. And that is when I realized he is under the same type of misconception that I used to be under.
Now let me make it a little clearer- this does not mean that he knew the concept theoretically and not practically- in fact he is far from it. He most probably has heard/read about it once or twice somewhere and hence when it is reiterated in the class he is under the misconception that he knows the topic.
This basically means that the concept never became a part of his system of working. Essentially it never became a tool he might use in case a situation arose where he has to use the said concept. Unless and until it becomes a part of your system it might be something you know but it is not something you have learnt yet. Knowing and learning are 2 different things, and using the word 'know' to imply 'learn' is a common problem. It is as simple as saying i know that the meaning of the word ,say for eg, "quixotic" but its not part of your vocabulary and most probably you wouldn't use the word till the day you die.
The reason i brought this up is because in a class or any other place of learning when this misconception arises the student most probably will not put the effort to learn the concept further and make it a part of his system, hence in the final scheme of things he would not have any progress unless you have a good teacher who can recognize this problem make the student aware of it. This is one of the reasons why a lot of potentially good students don`t perform up to their full potential.

Finally the reasons behind this misconception- based on my experience (there could be more)

1. the simplicity of the concept being explained - usually as a good student we expect concepts related to our field to be complex. its a general human tendency to give complexity 'importance'

2.Stubbornness- Another one of the reasons being stubbornness as an inborn trait in the students personality

3. Desire to learn quickly - which stems from the urgency to achieve your goals

4. Laziness- the flip side of being talented/intelligent.

5. Self obsession- Speaks for itself

The above said reasons need not all be present in an individual. one of them is enough.

How to tackle this problem
Very simple- Read the above post and have the ability to look at yourself objectively. :D

Take care now
bye bye then

നിമിത്തം (malayalam) pronounced as nimittam - refers to a sign,an omen, an efficient cause.

My first trip to mumbai was on 9th april 2010. Believe it or not having travelled all over the country thanks to my father`s occupation I had never been to mumbai. There had been a couple of opportunities when I could have visited Mumbai, with family or friends or as part of a detour to some other place, but it never happened, earlier because of no apparent reason, later on because of a staunch stubborn refusal from my end. My reason being, the first time I go to that City would be for something related to my long cherished goal of becoming an actor. At some times it sounded like a total middle class and highly filmy (read cheesy) mentality, but somehow at that point it made perfect sense i my head. So when my uncle who used to stay in mumbai invited us over, i refused to join. Anyway I finally got to go to Mumbai for an Audition and decided according to my conditions this situation suits to the T. And then started the process of getting ready for the travel

നിമിത്തം (malayalam) pronounced as nimittam - refers to a sign,an omen, an efficient cause.

Having not traveled by train in a long time i had totally forgotten the fact that

1.in order to increase your chances of confirming a tatkal ticket u need to be at the reservation counter much before the opening hours (8:00 AM), infact some people sleep overnight there to ensure they get a confirmed ticket.
2. Also if you plan to enter the ticket office after 8:30 AM you might as well say goodbye to your chances of getting a ticket
3. And specially if you need an AC Car (lesser no of seats compared to sleeper) and that too 2nd AC

My initial plan was to go aaram se at 10;30 and book my ticket. but suddenly at around 7:30 i woke up that morning and decided , now that i am up might as well go and book my ticket, might have been the excitement of going to mumbai that woke me up i thought (നിമിത്തം no 1)

With a rather sleepy head i reached the booking counter at 8:45 and requested for a 3rd AC ticket-
receptionist - "No ticket for 3AC"
me - " Try 2nd AC"(at the risk of sounding illogical since 2nd AC has lesser no of seats)
receptionist- "your lucky, available"
me- (nonchalantly) "do the needful please" (നിമിത്തം no 2)

Not realizing that i was truly lucky to have got a seat on a weekend train to Mumbai despite opposing circumstances I packed my bags and went to the station and was in for a shock.
At the allotted seat was sitting someone else with his legs stretched and showing me his confirmed ticket. I was Aghast and though this is a bad way to start of things. Anyway i went and checked the Chart and found my name mentioned but my seat changed form 2AC to 1st AC main cabin . I got more tense "great!, first i loose my seat and now i got to pay extra- this is going great"
Once in I spoke to the TC who pleasently informed me that i have been upgraded free of charge under some new scheme to this quite luxurious and comfortable cabin which i shared with an MLA from BJP and some high profile Head of Revenue departement. (നിമിത്തം no 3).
The next day morning when i got up the 2 had left at their respective stations and i had the entire cabin to myself for the next 12 hr journey. I couldn't believe myself.
And that`s when i realised all the നിമിത്തം s .
My trip to Mumbai and my chosen path in life - was always meant to be.

PS : I gave an ok audition not expecting to get selected but i did (നിമിത്തം no 4) :) :)

"don't wear shoes that don't fit you or don't belong to you"

This post by my good friend Krishy is something I believe in for a long time. Unfortunately i do not have the ability (yet) to write as convincingly as he did this one. Even though we have worked together as scriptwriters previously I was very clear about my strengths as far as writing was concerned then. Sometimes i do envy the ability to write that some of my friends like Venky or Hash have. Writing is something that I always wanted to be good at but never worked hard for. Maybe i wasn`t passionate enough.
But I do have a problem, once a weakness is realized i get obsessive about it and have this incessant urge to overcome it. In this case the weakness being my writing.
Anyway not digressing and coming back to the main topic and that being the post by Krishi. -Do read it cause it will give you a great objective view of the process of empathy and the double edged sword that it is.
Having been there in the position where in an attempt to empathize with someone i screwed myself over, royally if i may add, i recommend this post to every one who has the incessant urge to get into the other person`s shoes.
I end my post with this quote
""READ THE TITLE OF THE POST"

Silly बिल्ली

In this day and age it is very important to give disclaimers when writing stuff like the one below-This is not directed at anyone- and not intentioned to be derogative about women or men or the third gender. I really wanted to write totally Roadside material and have a sadak chaap feel to my poem. I felt for quite sometime now i have been writing in a rather good language. Hopefully with this poem i have formed a new mould.

So here goes- Imagine the Scenario.

Guy falls for a girl. Guy is local lad not very street smart or educated, the totally clueless naiive dude who unfortunately has a libido which thinks more than his brain.What happens when he finds the girl who knows his weakness and has a hidden vendatta against men in general who decides to screw him over--- Read below

Silly बिल्ली-

तेरे हाथों में अंगूठी, और उसकी उंगली मैं है चोट

लगता बेटे लाल मुझे, तेरी लड़की मे है खोट

घर का कुत्ता मत बन, है जंगली बिल्ली वो

संभल के रहना बेटा, बनाएगी silly वो.

इससे पहले काटे , निकल ले पश्चिम की ओर

मत कर शोर मत कर शोर बिल्कुल मत कर शोर

उसके हाथों में हैं, तेरे पतंग की डोर

पतझड़ का वो पत्ता तुझसे ज़्यादा हरा

जब देखी बिल्ली ऐसी चूहे जैसा डरा

लानत है तुझपे, हर आशिक़ है अब तेरी मिसाल की ओर

मत कर शोर मत कर शोर बिल्कुल मत कर शोर

उसके हाथों में हैं तेरे पतंग की डोर

(In)sight

Was watching a Belly dance video today and realized one of the most sexiest (in)sight should be the navel chain worn by a belly dancer. It is sensuous and not crass in any way whatsoever and highlights her sexuality to a great extent.
In fact talking about dance one of the most beautiful sights is to see someone immersed totally in what i call the "dance trans", its similar to an actor who has completely submitted to the situation and the character and "living the moment"- which by the way is my most favorite visual.

The Remaining ones

1.काली रात थी खामोश पानी था

आँखे धुंधली थी और रास्ता अंजाना था

आगे सपनों की नगरी

हाथ मे रिश्तों की गठरी

थका हारा बरसों से प्यासा था

पर उस प्यास को बुझाने से हरदम मैं डरता था

उम्मीद की डोरी थामे आगे बढ़ा

तकदीर पर भरोसा कर कदम लिया

काँटों पर पैर छिल गये, ठंड से बदन काँप उठा

पर उम्मीद का साथ ना छोडा, तकदीर का भरोसा ना तोड़ा

आगे मंज़िल दिखी तो फूला ना समाया

पर गौर से देखा, तो जो सोचा वो ना पाया

पर उम्मीद का साथ ना छोडा, तकदीर का भरोसा ना तोड़ा

आगे बढ़ा तो सपनों का महल दिखा

हाँ रंग ज़रूर अलग था, नक्शा थोड़ा नया था

पर महल ये मेरा था, काला ही सही सपना ये अपना था

अब दुनिया मे मेरा एक ठिकाना था

जैसा भी हो ये उपर वाले का एक नज़राना था

क़ुबूल है क़ुबूल है ए उपर वाले तेरा ये नज़राना

अब तेरी माया का हो गया मैं भी दीवाना

2.

तुम्हारी खामोशियाँ, दिल का हाल बतलाए

तुम्हारी आवाज़,ज़ख़्म पे मरहम लगाए

दूरियाँ तुमसे, हसरतें बढ़ाए,

अब क्या करें, जब याद तुम्हारी आए.

बेरंग सी ज़िंदगी है, रंग की बौछार तो करो

अधूरे अपने सपने को, कभी तो पूरा करो

कभी पर्वतों से छलाँग लगा के तो देखो

दुनिया कितनी हसीन है, कभी आसमान से तो देखो

3.

अपनी खूबसूरती पर इतना घुमार ना करो,

कभी किसी दिलवाले से प्यार भी तो करो,

दिल की बात होंठों पे भी तो लाओ

हाय, कभी इन मखमली होंठों से प्यार का इज़हार तो करो

कुछ दिनों बाद

कभी किसी हुस्न वाली से प्यार का इज़हार ना करो,

अपने दिल पर, इतना गहरा भी वार ना करो,

चोट खाए हुए इंसान, अपनी तकदीर पर लानत ना करो,

जब किसी हीर से बात ना चली, तो फिर लैला से बात करो

Posting some of my hindi poems.

1.माना थी वो भी कुछ खफा
मैं भी ज़िद पे था अड़ा
कैसी थी रंजिश प्यार मे
ना वो झुकी ना मैं झुका
सोचा कभी तो मानेगी
वापस कभी तो आएगी
दिन महीने साल गये
उसकी याद में हम बेहाल गये
प्यार मे ना मैं सही ना तू सही
प्यार वो ही ,जिसमे प्यार सही
सर झुकाने तू छोटा नही,
प्यार के दर्द की कोई, दवा नही


2.

जाना ज़रूरी है मगर, मन अभी मना नही
तलाश थी जिसकी मुझे,
और आस थी जिस वक़्त की
वो प्यास अभी बुझी नही.
आए अब इस मकाम पर,
रुकना नही था अब मगर
चखने दो बस इक पल मुझे,
रुकने दो अब दो वक़्त मुझे
वादा रहा फिर रुकूंगा नही
जाना ज़रूरी है मगर, मन अभी मना नही


3.
गिर पड़े हम, तो संभलते खुदी से
उठ गये, तो फिर गिरे तकदीर से
हार ना मानने की कसम जो खाई
तो रास्ते के बवंडर भी लगे, हवा के झोंके से
पर प्यार मे जब गिरे, तो गिरे हुए कहलाए
अब जीत कर ना आए, तो हारे हुए कहलाए
गर प्यार मे जीतना होता इतना आसान
तो फिर इस प्यार की राह मे, क्या पाता तू ए इंसान


4.
उन होंठों के दीवाने से पूछो दीवानगी क्या चीज़ है
मधुशाला मे बैठे अकेले शराबी से पूछो नशा क्या चीज़ है
सालों से इंतेज़ार करते आशिक़ से ना पूछो वक़्त क्या चीज़ है
ए मेहेरबान मेरे उस बदनसीब से कभी ना पूछो मोहब्बत क्या चीज़ है

My upteenth comeback

Its almost going to be an year since i Posted anything on my supposed 'blog'. I still cant find the reason as to why i started a blog in the first place. Maybe it was because i wanted a space to express myself but then looking at the no of posts and the kind of posts I sometimes wonder whether I started this just because somewhere i felt having a blog was cool.
Anyway now that I have addressed the issue which is " My Blog is a disgrace to the blogging community because of the lack of effort gone into updating it" I plan to do something about it.

Lets start with my most favorite topic- Me :)

So after years of unsuccessful attempts at hitting the gym for a long period of time i have been somewhat successful this time. Having worked hard at it Now i want a little leaner look and i have set a goal to achieve it in the next 2 weeks which after understanding the way i function i have realised is possible.
Now the basic Funda for this is that I need to do a lot more Cardio and unfortunately unlike some of my other blogger friends, I get bored of the usual treadmill/ jogging excercises very fast.
That is when it struck me. Now last year I had this 3 months course part of which involved martial arts and Dancing and Yoga. And by the 3rd week I was on the track to beat Christian bale in "The Machinist". So then I immediately called a friend of mine who is a fabulous dancer and requested him to teach me any dance for the next 2 weeks. Now he has agreed and my laziness has already kicked in. Hopefully i will be able to overcome it and do something worthwhile.

Cheers
VCN